Comparison doesn't have to be the thief of joy

I said this recently and I'll keep saying it.

We've all heard it... this is a fairly famous quote. But, what if instead of thinking of comparison as the thief of joy, and hence, trying to stop comparison, we just changed our thinking.

"Social comparison theory states that in the absence of objective measures for self-evaluation, we compare ourselves to others to find out how we're doing. Going back to our example above, the measure for how good your concerto is depends on comparison to other concertos. Does it hold up to Mozart's concertos? Is it better than most other modern concertos? There are essentially two types of comparisons that people make: upward comparisons, or comparing ourselves to others who are better than we are, and downward comparisons, or comparing ourselves to those who are not as proficient as we are at a given task." http://study.com/academy/lesson/self-comparison-theory-upward-vs-downward-social-comparison.html

What if I told you that you could use comparison to feel better about your situation? Well, that's exactly what social comparison theory says. We could make upward comparisons and say "I suck" compared to that person. We could make downward comparisons and say "that person sucks", but what if we spun it to be positive? What if, instead of "I suck" you said "I'm not as good at X as that person, but look where I could strive to be!" AHHH!!! And, what if, instead of "that person sucks" you said "Wow, I should be thankful for what I have (skills, talents, possessions, job, etc)" Again, AHHH!! In both situations we aren't allowing social comparison theory to place negative value on our comparisons... we are noticing them and using them, either to strive for better OR to be grateful.

I don't look at the beautiful Marte Elverum (above) and say "wow, I suck, I'll never be that strong, that outgoing, that pretty"... I look at her and say "wow! I can get stronger... look what a beautiful woman can do... maybe I can be better too". Conversely, I don't look down on other lifters who aren't as strong as me and say "oh, I'm so good compared to you", I am grateful for all the hours I spent in the gym and all the coaching I've received and the nutrition help I get. At the end of the day, don't allow comparison to be the thief of joy! Use it to drive you to happiness, gratitude and the knowledge you can achieve more than you probably believed.