Letting go of expectation of result

Something I learned from a bowling coach (yes, until about 2 years ago I competitively 5 pin bowled), was the idea of letting go of expectation of results. Let me explain... I'm on the approach, I have control over what I do, sometimes I even threw a really great ball, hit the pocket flawlessly, and sometimes that corner pin would still stand. Now, this might even happen a few frames in a row, and then I'd start to get frustrated, so I'd likely get a little tense. In bowling that can mean not finishing the shot and even more corner pins standing, or worse, lots of head pins. Then, one day I had one of my mentors tell me to let go of any expectation from the pins. I can do what I can do and only that. Sometimes the pins are not going to fall the way I think they "should". But, I can't control them. I can only control me. So, let go...

That doesn't mean let go of a desire to do well. Or let go of doing your best with the things you can control. It means simply, let go of this idea that something "should" happen just because you did what you could. We can apply this to many things. Weight loss - you can control your calories in and calories out, you can eat "healthy" choices, you can clock a perfect mathematical weight loss plan... and you still might not lose the kind of weight you "should".

How about as it relates to lifting? Put the time in the gym, do all the work, have your nutrition in line, the peak phase is perfectly executed. Meet day still might not go according to plan. Your opener might need to be dropped. You might have a problem with touching in your shirt. Maybe that deadlift that "should" have been easy didn't budge.

Apply this to basically anything you can think of!! I've picked just a few, but it works with almost any scenario. Relationships? Do what you can, invest the way you believe, do everything in your power... but ultimately you cannot control the other person and s/he may not act the way you believe s/he "should". In trauma work, I can implement the model I use exactly how it's written. I can make it safe and fun and create an environment where healing "should" happen... and it still might not. I have a quote on my computer. It's been in my life since 2003 and on my various computers since 2008 - "Today I will do what I can... And I will give the rest up to the Universe". I can only control what I can... I only have so much power and so much influence. Ultimately, I cannot always control outcomes.

I love this quote because it simplifies this idea. I need to know what I can control and what I should let go of to be healthy and happy. Trying to hang on to what those pins do 60ft away is only going to be frustrating...