Changing narratives

The idea for this blog comes from a blend of the work I do with people, focusing a lot on the stories we use to explain ourselves. For a bit of context, "stories in a ‘narrative therapy’ context are made up of events, linked by a theme, occurring over time and according to a plot. A story emerges as certain events are privileged and selected out over other events as more important or true. As the story takes shape, it invites the teller to further select only certain information while other events become neglected and thus the same story is continually told. These stories both describe and shape people’s perspectives on their lives, histories and futures." http://www.narrativetherapycentre.com/narrative.html

We tell ourselves things about our world and our place in the world. We create a story and a context about events and situations. Sometimes these stories can be helpful and sometimes the stories we create can hurt us. Think of it this way, if you tell yourself the same negative thing over and over, you are far more likely to eventually believe it and create what we call the "self fulfilling prophecy". We believe something so deeply and intensely, even sometimes without realizing it, that we end up creating situations and events that feed that story and our beliefs.

How does this apply to sport? And more specifically, how am I applying this to my personal lifting? Well, see, I have created a narrative about some of my lifts that is incredibly unhelpful. I was initially applying this just to my bench press, and I will explain that here, but I can also apply it to squat and I'll even be able to show how I believe these narratives might have limited me.

See, the story I tell myself about bench is that I'm weak. I use the hashtag #povertybench... okay, I did until about a month ago. I have this story in my head that tells me that bench is my weakest lift and it is the hardest for me. I have lots of reasons (excuses??) for this, but ultimately it all feeds the story in my head that I have this unremarkable, weak bench press. What might happen if I stopped telling myself this narrative? What might happen if I started telling myself that I work hard at bench and that it is getting stronger? What if I tell myself that I'm competent in a shirt and can manage and control the weight? What if I simply stop the narrative of "poverty bench" and just eliminate that altogether? Will I magically bench 10kg more? Probably not. But, am I far more likely to make solid increases on my bench? YES!! And what I know about the power of narratives is that I'm far more likely to make solid increases on my bench with little to no changes in my training.

Now, a narrative can be developed by our own defenses, like my bench narrative was - I created a narrative about how weak I am to help my ego compensate for lack of growth and it's likely limited me. But, a narrative can come from others and become something we invest in. I've been told my squat is crap. I've been told I let myself get too bent over. I've learned to take my coaching advice on this lift from a select few people to help me resist this encroaching narrative, but all to often, I find myself accepting it. Worse yet, I often find it running in my head right freaking before I get under the bar. There's no worse time to run the story of how crappy your squat is :) Guess what? It's my choice to accept this or not. I may have limitations on my squat, but in the big realm of it, I don't have a "crappy squat". I've seen some crappy squats and I've seen some great squats and I accept that mine is somewhere in the middle. This day I choose to dismiss this imbedded story and discard it for what it is. I am bigger than any narrative that is placed on me. I choose to maximize MY squat and the way I do it. And I will make progress and I will accept the challenge to make it better, but I will not allow this damaging narrative another moment of space in my head.

Now, know what's really cool? I've never told this story about my deadlift. I've also never accepted it about my deadlift when I've gotten unhelpful comments from the peanut gallery. I had this confidence about my deadlift that came early on, maybe for several reasons. Ultimately, it's also the lift that is my strongest, probably naturally (long arms hurt the bench, help the deadlift) but I bet, if I'd let it, I could have created a story that would have limited me. At Worlds in Nov 2016 I was tanked... I had nothing left after my first deadlift. I pulled 190kg on my second attempt and I'm completely convinced that the only reason I locked it out was that I had zero shred of doubt that I would pull it. I went into it with a narrative that this was solid and it was there and there was no moment that I stopped believing that. Though I'll admit, when I went to lock my knees I was thinking "wow, this is harder than I expected" (I was also thinking "just like Rhaea does" with the knees then glutes) but I never doubted it and it showed.

Now the question is.... what's YOUR story? Is it limiting you or is it helping you thrive? How can you recreate your own narratives to change the way you enter and interact in the world?