Change is a choice

I debated calling this "it's all a choice" but I feared people would misinterpret that as meaning I think people "choose" to be victimized, taken advantage of it, etc. And really, it is centered on change, although can apply to many things. So what do I mean change is a choice? Of course, change is a choice! The problem with most people is that they unknowingly stick themselves in the role of victims. Change is hard.. it's uncomfortable and it's unsettling.. How many people have you personally heard say things like "I meant to but..." or "I was going to but..."? I'm going to relate this to eating and training for a bit to make it more tangible. Woman A wants to lose 20lbs. She gets on board with a solid eating and training plan. She gets her macros and knows where to start. Let's say she's been seriously undereating for a long time and needs to build back up a bit so she has somewhere to cut from. Eating 200g of carbs a day scares her - she fears she's going to put on a bunch of weight and she doesn't trust that this will work. What she's been doing isn't working either, though, so she knows in her head she needs this change and she needs to try something different. She has 2 choices - eat the macros, eat the carbs, regardless of the thoughts and fear that circle her brain every night... or don't. I hear so many people say "help me... every night I get to 125g of carbs and I'm so afraid to eat more that I don't... what can I do?" YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENT CHOICE!! There's no magic to this. Every one of us has to face the anxiety of change. There's no way around it. Anxiety is the most self-reinforcing condition there is - every time you avoid something that causes anxiety your brain says "oh, that feels good, let's do more of that avoiding thing". Every time Woman A avoids eating more carbs and her anxiety retreats her brains says "see how good it feels to avoid that?" So, how do you get this anxiety to go away without avoiding the thing that invokes it? You withstand it... Woman A eats the extra carbs. Maybe she can't commit to eating 200g on day 1, but she can withstand the anxiety that emerges when she eats 145g on day 1 and she can do that days 1-3. Then she can withstand the anxiety that comes when she eats 165g a day and she does that for a few more days... and so on. This is what I mean when I say it's a choice. IT'S A CHOICE TO WITHSTAND THE ANXIETY THAT ACCOMPANIES CHANGE! There are lots of things you can do to help yourself cope with the anxiety - the one I highlighted was using an exposure ladder (small increments towards the ultimate goal), to make the anxiety "smaller" and able to tolerate better. Google any kind of mindfulness activities and find what you like. You can teach yourself to positively self talk. When I have anxiety over something I am working on I will tell myself "hey anxiety brain, I see you there. I know this is uncomfortable, but you're not going to kill me, so you're no big deal". Sounds corny, but try it perhaps... warning, these strategies are things you need to keep trying because it won't work flawlessly from the starting horn. It takes time and mastery. At the end of the day, we all have a choice in our actions. Is what you are doing consistent with the person you are choosing to be? If not, then pick one thing you can do today to get yourself on the road to that person. No matter how uncomfortable it makes you, no matter how much your brain tries to trick you... change is hard, withstanding the anxiety and distress is hard... it's also a choice.